Not getting along with your spouse can be stressful and frustrating. You want to have a happy marriage, life, and family but may feel a bit confused and on edge if you’re always arguing.
What you don’t want to do is make assumptions or give up trying to rectify the situation if you want to save the relationship. Remind yourself why you two got married in the first place and then try to find common ground. Continue reading to get ideas about what you can do if you and your spouse aren’t getting along and you want to get to a better place.
Have A Conversation
Keep the lines of communication open when you and your spouse aren’t getting along. It’s important that you sit down and have a conversation about what’s occurring. Try your best to identify the most significant issues or problem areas and get a better understanding of why the other person is upset. Your goal is to get on the same page and see if there is a way for you to compromise and both work harder to make each other happy. The more and better you communicate the more likely it is that you’ll be able to improve your relationship.
Set Aside Some Quality Time
You may not be getting along with your spouse for several reasons and one of them being that you don’t spend a lot of time together. Maybe one or both of you is very involved in your career or the kids and you aren’t giving your partner enough attention. In this case, you should plan to have date nights every so often where you two can come together and relax and have some fun as a couple. You may see another side of your spouse and realize that the main reason you’ve been fighting is that you simply want to be together more and haven’t been able to do so.
Know You Have Options
The reality is that you always have options in life and nothing is set in stone. If you and your spouse aren’t getting along you want to avoid giving an ultimatum or threatening to leave. However, if you’re truly unhappy or issues are going on that are putting you or your kids in danger then you may want to consider getting a separation or divorce. If you do decide you want to move forward with this then it’s best to hire and work with a family law attorney who can help you navigate the process. They’re the experts and will guide you to making wise decisions and ensuring that your concerns are heard and you can come to a resolution.
Remember that you can’t change anyone and most people are set in their ways for the most part, especially as you get older. Therefore, it’s in your best interest to practice acceptance and stop trying to change the other person. Instead, find out more about who they are and why they do what they do and remain curious and open-minded. If you and your spouse aren’t getting along it may be because you’re both trying to change life behaviors that are already well set. Instead, encourage and motivate one another so that you can both make improvements and be better people and partners overall.
Open up to Someone You Trust
Sometimes your best option, when you aren’t getting along with your spouse, is to focus on your wellness and health. You want to avoid letting your stress build up and saying words or taking actions you later regret. If you’re feeling overwhelmed about the situation then you may want to consider opening up to someone you trust about what’s going on. They may have some useful advice for you or at least will be someone you can talk to and confide in so that you can get what’s bothering you off your mind. Take good care of yourself and remember that you matter and the better you feel the better partner you’ll be to your spouse.
Try Couples Therapy
There’s no shame in getting professional help for your relationship when you need it. If you and your spouse are arguing and can’t get along then it may be time to seek help. Try couples therapy so you two can tell your sides of the story and get an outside expert opinion about what’s going on. They may be able to identify areas for improvement or issues that you’re not clearly seeing. You must both be willing to go and make an effort to open up so that you can get down to the true roadblocks and work through your problems maturely.
Listen to Each Other Better
One reason you and your spouse may not be getting along is that you’re talking over one another constantly. You should each focus on being a better listener and hearing what your partner has to say before you speak or form an opinion. Listen without judgment and try to understand where the other person is coming from. Never assume you know what your spouse is thinking or wants. Be respectful of their thoughts and feelings and try to be there for them when they need you the most. Listen to build more trust and work on finding a middle ground. Each of you needs to take responsibility for your behavior and not try to act like it’s all fine when it’s not.
You now have a better idea of what to do if you and your spouse aren’t getting along. It’s important to address your concerns right away instead of letting them fester. Use this advice and these tools as a way to hear one another out and prevent issues from getting worse. Your goal is to figure out what you want and if it’s to stay together then you should both work on making sure your lives together are more enjoyable and rewarding. Let this be a chance to find out more about if you two can grow even closer and strengthen your partnership or if there’s no going back.