Unfortunately, not all relationships last. This means that sometimes, great relationships we have had in the past can come to an end, and sometimes, that end might not be as ideal as you had hoped. This can leave people to think that they’re ‘all done’, or they may be unwilling to take those risks again.
Of course, you should go at your own pace no matter what. If you need time to heal and simply look after your kids and yourself, more power to you. However, it is important to make sure you never limit yourself. Perhaps one day you will fall in love again, and that can be an amazing feeling. Even opening yourself up to that possibility can help you re-enter a relationship with maturity and experience, something worth keeping in mind again and again.
But how can you make sure to restart love anew in the healthiest manner possible? To keep you confident in your ability, and to encourage you to realize just how much you’re worth, we hope some of the following advice can help you, through and through. Without further ado, please consider:
Don’t Ignore Your Chances
It’s not uncommon for those who have loved and lost or been burned in the past, to feel as though their chances for true love have been dampened. As if age or past experience somehow makes them less deserving of a real connection.
Don’t think that. Not only doesn’t this attitude serve you well, but it’s not true, and there’s no point believing a self-deprecating impression that isn’t true in the first place. Look into this with fresh eyes, and realize that sometimes, having loved in the past can be an advantage, because now you can more easily weigh new love or romance on its merits rather than all the surrounding emotional rollercoasters that come with it. That can be a much healthier way of viewing a relationship, instead of feeling thrown around by your emotions as you might have had in your youth.
Even if you don’t think it’s very possible, go into this process realizing that you deserve a win. Because you do.
Consider The Practicalities
Mature relationships can differ from those that come in youth for a range of reasons. For instance, you might have children now, and a career. Perhaps your would-be partner does as well. This can help you take it slow and figure out the practicalities of considering seeing someone rather than only being swept up in romanticism.
It might be, for instance, that you fall in love with someone from another country. Using legal help to advise you of the best route in securing a K-1 Visa can be a great way to help you establish that ultimate green card, and begin planning a life together. When you have concrete considerations like this rather than vague promises, you’re sure to feel better, happier, and more insightful.
Matures Wants & Desires
It’s okay to admit that what you want from a relationship now might not be what you wanted ten or twenty years ago. We grow as we age, and our priorities change. For instance, we tend to become more grounded and authentic as we age. The glitz and glam of super expensive vacations away and being swept off your feet with dazzling might is less important than being totally emotionally raw with someone, having those tough conversations, and trusting one another in the difficult times.
As such, it’s important to make sure someone else is on the same wavelength, even if you go for someone younger or older than you. Making these wants clear, and being unapologetic about having them, can define you as being more confident and enjoying the process so much more.
Allow For Natural Growth
It’s important to remember that despite your renewed wants and desires, and your knowledge that you deserve a better way forward in life, that you don’t overthink things and mistake maturity for perfect wisdom.
Being wise in a relationship is allowing what happens to happen, and for that natural growth to develop. Even if you’ve had a bad experience in the past, it’s important to remember that we can’t control every little element of what we experience in love in the future – there has to be dynamic room for both of you to meet, which gives room to that spark that might take place.
With this advice, you’re sure to restart love anew and develop in the best possible manner.
