Are you always hiding BEHIND the camera? Today I shared the reasons why I now share more of myself and how Poise has helped me gain my confidence back.
I used to get asked all the time, why don’t you show more of yourself? Why don’t you post more photos of you? Why is it just photos of Madison? And I would always say, “I’m not photogenic enough to get in-front of the camera”. It’s not that I think that I’m ugly, or that I’m shy, I have never felt comfortable in front of a camera or been comfortable in my own skin. I have never liked seeing myself in photos but I’ve started changing that, and it’s not because I feel MORE comfortable. That’s very far from the truth, it’s all for my kids.
I lost my mother almost 2 years ago and it still hurts, every day I think about her and every day I wish that she were still here with me. When I went back to the Caribbean to bury my mother, I took her photo albums because that’s all I wanted. I wanted the memories, but I recently decided to take a look at them, and to my surprise, my mother was very much like me. She hated being in front of the camera as well and her photo albums consisted of pictures of me as a child and pictures of the grand children. What happened to the photos of her? What happened to the years and years of her life that she spent on this earth? What happened to the many trips that we took together? Why were there only photos of me and none of her? Why were there hardly any photos of us together? It’s because my mother as I mentioned was just like me. She loved me enough that she wanted as many photos as she can of me, but she didn’t think that I would also love to see more photos of her as well.
As a mother, we love our children and we want to preserve as many photos as we can of them, from the time they were born right up until they graduate college, get married, have children of their own, then it’s photos of the grandchildren, as in the case of my mother. What about the photos of us? I then made a mental decision. I don’t want to be like my mother. I want to have photos that my kids can look back upon. Photos of our trips together, photos of us spending time together, and photos of me. Raw, true to life photos. Photos of me smiling and laughing as hard as I could, photos of me crying, photos of me being silly, playing games with them, photos of me just being me and enjoying their childhood and me being a mother.
This isn’t just for me. When the day arrives, where I cross over to the other side, I would love for each of my children to have their own photo album that they can share with their own children. That they can say, this is a picture of your grandmother, or great grandmother, or even great-great grandmother. I may not be photogenic, I may not be fashion forward, but I’m me and I want to share that with my generation.
However it hasn’t always been this easy for me. I used to hate laughing out loud and being my silly old self. Laughing out loud would have absolutely meant that I would leak. As a matter of fact, laughing, jogging, playing basketball with son, any sort of activity would mean that I would somehow end up with an underwear that wasn’t completely dry. I was diagnosed with Stress Urinary Incontinence (SUI) a few years ago, so I suffer from Light Bladder Leakage (LBL), trust me it’s not as sexy as it sounds. I was missing out on what life had to offer and missing out spending and enjoying time with my kids. As you know, I have talked about Poise Impressa quite a few times on my blog here because they have worked for me, but I also use the liners as well which also work extremely well. They go hand in hand and just like my wallet and cell phone, I never leave home without them. Here’s something to note, Poise Impressa doesn’t absorb leaks, they stop them before they even happen and because our bodies aren’t all shaped the same, you can buy a sizing kit (available at Walmart) to figure out what size you are. It’s not a one size fits all. I’m a size 1 and that’s what I use.
Now I can truly enjoy myself because I know that Poise has me covered. I can spin and twirl and laugh as much as I want. I can now get in front of the camera and show not just the world that I am me, but I now have photos that my children can show their children, and their children can show their children, just what an amazing person I was (yes I’m also conceited). I can now seize my Poise Moment!
What about you? How are you seizing your poise moment?