Flirting is a fine art and if you get it wrong, it can leave you feeling all sorts of cringe feelings. As women, it is not always easy to approach guys, it’s hard to gauge whether or not they are interested in you. Nobody wants to look desperate or come across as desperate. So if you are worried about making the first move on a guy, fear not as we will go through four easy ways women can approach men without looking desperate whatsoever.
- Get Your Flirt On Via Text
Advancements in technology have affected all areas of our lives, and dating is no exception to that! The creation of dating apps such as Tinder, Hinge and Bumble have all led to a new style of meeting people. First things first, if you are using tinder, never ‘super like’ on a guy’s profile, because this will make you look overly keen and that will probably turn him off. When you do match with someone, finding the right words to start or continue a conversation can be tricky but is important that you make your messages interesting enough to keep the guy engaged in the conversation. If you are someone who worries about whether or not you should message first after matching, then try using Bumble. On this app, only girls can message first, so you will never look desperate because that is just the design of the app! So you can message first freely without worrying about how it will come across.
If you have someone in mind, and you want to slide into their DM’s, be tactical about this. Don’t make it seem as though you are overly interested. Start a message with something fairly trivial, for example, if you see on their Instagram they are talking about a new coffee place, reply to a story they post sometime and ask if the coffee is worth the hype. This will make it appear as though you are only interested in the coffee and not him, depending on how he responds you can turn this into a flirty conversation after a few messages have been exchanged.
- Confidence Is Key
Regardless of whether you are approaching guys online or in real life, remember, confidence is key. Lots of research has been conducted on the relationship between attraction and confidence, and time and time again it has been found that people are attracted to confidence. So, when you approach a guy, do it with confidence and the way to do this is by presenting the right body language. Standing up straight, head held high, flicking your hair back – these are all good examples of how to appear confident, but with a touch of flirty. If you are in a bar and you walk up to a guy hunched over and unable to make eye contact, then the conversation is doomed to fail. The key is to trick him into thinking he wants you and you aren’t bothered either way upon first meeting.
A lot of people struggle with social anxiety or anxiety in general, and so presenting yourself as confident can be a little harder for those people. However, it is certainly not impossible and there are a few tips and tricks you can do to help you feel more confident. For example, wear something that makes you feel great. If you are in a bomb outfit, you are going to not only feel the part but act the part too. Also, posture can make a big difference to how confident you feel, so keep that head up high and trick your brain into feeling like the boss it is. Lastly, repeat positive affirmations to yourself before approaching a guy. Tell yourself how good you look or how much of a catch you are, and even if you don’t believe it at first, keep reciting and repeating these positive affirmations anyway. It will eventually make a difference.
- A Smile Is the Sexiest Thing You Can Wear
Smiling is not only good for your mental and emotional health, but it also allows people to warm to you. So, if you are creating an online dating profile, make sure your first photo is one of you flashing your beautiful smile. If you are approaching a guy in real life, then remember to smile lots and to laugh!
People are attracted to happy people and laughing at his jokes will make him feel more relaxed around you too. However, make sure you don’t overdo it either, you don’t want it to feel unnatural because excessive laughter will just reek of desperation. Hopefully, the guy you are approaching will naturally ignite your smile and laughter so you don’t have to overthink it anyway.
- Pay Attention To His Behavior
You must look for the right signs and hints in his behavior and communication, for you to know whether he is available/ interested in you. If you are having a conversation in a bar and he keeps looking around the place and not at you, then cut your losses and leave him to it, because if he was really interested then he will be looking just at you. If you are online and you guys have matched on a dating app, pay attention to how quickly he replies. Also, does he ask you questions about yourself? If you are the one putting in all the work and asking all the questions but getting nothing back, then he is not interested. Someone who likes you will want to ask you questions back. So it is in these little details and behaviors whereby you can see if someone is genuinely interested. Remember, you’ll look desperate if you are putting in all the work, so save yourself the time and effort if he starts showing signs he is not as interested as you might be.
There you have it, four easy ways to approach guys without seeming even remotely desperate. You are in control, so do not do yourself a disservice by dating men who are boring or not giving you anything back. Be cool, calm, collected, and make sure you smile!