This post today is much different than what you’ve been reading here on AnnMarie John. After much contemplation, the decision to lay bare what’s been happing in my life is something I felt was owed to my readers.
You may or may not have noticed a few minute changes that were made during the past couple of weeks. What changes you ask? Well, the regularity of posts have slowed and the comment system was turned off.
Why? There’s a really good reason for all of the changes mentioned above. Before I lose my nerve, let me get it out of the way right now.
I’m losing my vision.
Yes, you read that right. My once perfect 20/15 vision (which is better than 20/20) has been deteriorating at an extraordinary rate for the past few months.
At first, I thought it was just me getting older when reading the labels on cans or even a book without holding it at arm’s length became a common occurrence.
I remember calling my brother in Canada and chatting with him for an extensive amount of time, and we even joked about how “it was just my age”. However, being the youngest of 3, and the only one with this problem, we quickly came to the conclusion that 41 really wasn’t that old and something was definitely wrong.
Our own mother lost her vision at the age of 72, but by then she had been a diabetic for a substantial period of time, which contributed to her vision loss, or diabetic retinopathy. She also had bleeding behind her cornea for which she had surgery. This was a far cry from what was happening to me.
I knew for my sake and my family that a diagnosis was essential, so an appointment to see my doctor was made. After testing, diabetes was ruled out, and so were a few other things, however, my vision wasn’t improving.
We tried reading glasses, but still no improvement. So the decision to see an ophthalmologist was made. Who knew specialty doctor appointments can be so difficult to obtain? As of now, the earliest appointment is not until August, so until then the advice given by my doctor has been to avoid screen time as much as possible.
That means curbing cell phone usage, computer time and even the TV. So far, I have limited the use of all of the above. So while I enjoy reading your comments and responding to them, regrettably, I can no longer do so.
While I also take joy in reading your blogs, sadly, I cannot read them as much as I would love to either.
As you’re reading this, I’m currently cruising the Western Caribbean for our annual family vacation. Something that I do yearly with my husband and kids. This holiday, while it won’t be our last, it may be the last where I’m able to see and capture the memories of us together.
I’m here to say, appreciate and treat each day as if it’s your last because you never know if it will be. Tell your loved ones you cherish and adore them, and take all those pictures!! Get in front of the camera, ask a stranger to snap your photo if you have to, and stop worrying that you’re too fat, too short, too tall, not pretty enough, because your family doesn’t care about any of those reasons that you tend to use, and neither should you. It’s all about the memories that you’re creating.
And remember, this is not quite goodbye.