Theme Layout

Boxed or Wide or Framed

[Framed]

Theme Translation

Display Featured Slider

Featured Slider Styles

[Boxedwidth]

Display Grid Slider

Grid Slider Styles

Display Trending Posts

No

Display Author Bio

Display Instagram Footer

How to Practice Positive Discipline with Children


We share ways you can practice positive discipline in children.


You often hear the famous words, “well back in my day”, from your elders. This is a common statement that is made by our elders as a means to explain that you are doing something wrong or that they can’t understand why you parent in such a way. Back in the days of our elders, you were hit with a belt, spanked and sent to bed without dinner. We no longer live in those days, parenting has grown and children have changed. There’s a new method in town and that is called positive discipline.


What is Positive Discipline?
The basics are that positive discipline involves respect, understanding and a reward of love for good behavior. One could further this with the fact that positive discipline doesn’t give attention to the bad behavior of children as a means to encourage good behavior.
Positive Discipline Techniques

Change your Mindset – know that there are no bad kids, just bad behavior. Sure it may be easy to get caught up in the emotional side of parenting when your child is throwing a tantrum, or did something you know they knew better than to do. With that being said, regardless of how emotional you feel in this moment, remember that it’s the behavior you are angry at, not the child.

Focus on the Trigger – when you start to focus on the triggers that make your child do what you consider bad things, you can start teaching them to be more self-aware. Perhaps your child is acting out because they are hungry or tired, start working with your child to communicate how they can make a better decision next time, such as getting more sleep the night before or having healthy fulfilling snacks in between meals.


Discuss a Solution – even if your child isn’t of speaking age yet there’s nothing wrong with discussing or chatting about a solution to the bad behavior. This helps teach your child and you to focus on how to resolve this bad behavior without paying much attention on the behavior itself. When you discuss and focus on a solution you are subconsciously teaching your child to have a more positive attitude that will go a long way in their lives.

Be Firm, yet Kind – the key to positive discipline with children is to learn to approach all bad behaviors with a level of firmness, yet kindness. Just because you are finding a place of empathy and understanding doesn’t mean you are condoning their behavior, rather you are teaching them that they are still loved even when they make bad decisions. You are also teaching them that there are consequences for bad behavior, regardless of the ability to understand the why behind the behavior.

Turn Bad Behavior into a Lesson – let’s face it, even adults have bad behavior from time to time, and we learn from those mistakes (sometimes). It’s not that farfetched to teach children the same concept by turning their bad behavior into a life lesson. Sure, you will have to remain firm yet kind with a consequence and discuss a solution, but go further with this and have your child talk to you about why they made the decision, and have them think about ways they can try harder next time.


Ultimately Children Just Want Connection …
Children are born with this innate desire to connect with other human beings. Parents are the first humans they come into contact with, which makes parents the predominate example they look up to. There will always be bad behavior from children and adults alike, but you can work to implement positive discipline as a means to get your child on track with having the desire to make good decisions.

How do you practice positive discipline? 

Annmarie John
38 Comments
Share :

38 comments:

  1. What great tips and I agree with your final assessment of what children actually do want as I have seen this first hand with both my girls often enough now, as well.

    ReplyDelete
  2. For me, it's firmness and kindness. I tend to get really mad when Scarlet talks back to me, and before you know it, we're both flying off the handle. I've found that channeling patience, but staying true to my original wishes works well for me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks for the great tips. I think it's always better for kids when we are positive in disciplining them as opposed to encouraging negativity.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I completely agree with you on positive discipline. Very seldom did I ever spank my children when they were little. In college for my debate class I actually wrote a speech on why people should not think children and it wasn't very popular with the other folks in the room who must've been parents and didn't agree with my idea .

    ReplyDelete
  5. My children respond best to positive discipline, but it is often difficult for me. I tend to lose my patience and get loud when upset, rather than remain calm and in control. It is definitely something I plan to continue working on.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for the tips. I'm not a mother yet but they will come in handy when I am blessed with kiddies of my own!

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is such a great post. Positive parenting is the only way to go. It's the only way to ensure that the kids learn their lesson instead of just being miserable.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I do my best to always take a positive approach to parenting. Yelling really doesn't accomplish much of anything except make bad feelings.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love it! Positive reinforcement is the only way to go. Parenting is about guiding more than prodding, in my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is a great post! This is the best way to parent, in my opinion. You have to guide and encourage your kids, not berate them and prod them.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I really like this method of discipline. I find that it is the most effective and (sometimes) keeps everyone happy.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is so true! I agree with all your points here. Positive discipline really encourages children tell what they really want. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. You are definitely in agreement with my own philosophy. I would work things out with kids by working on vocabulary, self awareness and root causes.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I agree and disagree here. I have two daughters, my oldest that is almost 18, and my almost 12 year old. They are total opposites. By total opposites, I mean not only do they act differently, but they both require different discipline approaches. My oldest one, positive discipline never worked. She felt like she got away with whatever you did. Grounding didn't even work because she loved to read, so if you took away all her electronics, she would grab a book. Spanking was literally the only form of discipline that worked for her. My youngest? Spanking hurt her feelings more than anything else, and we learned that what worked for her was positive discipline.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I remember my friend was always getting yelled at for doing something wrong. It seemed her parents didn't know how to discipline without yelling. Needless to say, she has a lot of emotional issues, even as an adult. Positive disciple is so necessary for the overall well being of the child.

    ReplyDelete
  16. It is important to stay positive with your children even through discipline. I think it shows a deeper meaning to discipline.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Positive performance I found to be the best for when i discipline my niece. I don't think any of want to go back to the days of smacking children...

    ReplyDelete
  18. I am a huge fan of positive reinforcement! I think it teaches kids so much more than to use negative reinforcement. It encourages kids to behave better.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I try to do as much positive enforcement as I can in my life. Really all everyone, including children, want is some positivity!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I think it's great to use positive reinforcement for discipline. Instead of always saying no and not giving a reason, it's important to help your child understand what they did wrong, how it affects themselves and others, and how they can avoid doing it again in the future.

    ReplyDelete
  21. This is a good article for kids.
    It is very timely and educational.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. While I THINK I understand what you're trying to say, I'm not sure that kids are going to discipline kids, so this post is more for parents. 😉

      Delete
  22. Positive reinforcement works well except when one's efforts are undermined by an ex-spouse. My grandchildren's mother tells them that they don't have to obey either their father or me, which can be extremely frustrating. It's either bribe them to behave better or suspend privileges to punish bad behavior. A combination of both works best in this situation.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Very interesting! Especially for someone who doesn't have children, these are not things I'd have considered - it's eye opening that this is something parents are going through on regular basis. Thank you for sharing! xx

    ReplyDelete
  24. I am trying to be more positive in my parenting too. I agree with the whole movement. I find the more I spend time one on one with my kids the better they behave. It is like filling their love tank and they don't seek to fill their attention tank with bad bahavior.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I try to practice positive parenting as much as possible. I'm sure I mess it up at times, but I try. I think kids learn so much better from it!

    ReplyDelete
  26. It's nice to be able to parent your child without having to lose it whenever they do something bad. I believe in positive reinforcement and I think this is a great way to discipline and parent a child especially when they're acting out.

    ReplyDelete
  27. This is such a well-written post. Times have changed.
    It is good to separate the action/behavior from the child and work on correcting the former.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I work on positive discipline in the classroom. It's amazing the results you can get from even the most behaviorally-challenged moments when you restructure the way the students expect discipline.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I always like to focus on the underlying issue of their behavior rather than the behavior itself. There's always something underneath that is the problem.

    ReplyDelete
  30. This was super helpful! I will have to try out a few of these tips the next time I have to reprimand my children.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Thanks for these tips. My children are all grown up now. Teaching them discipline when they were still young children was difficult. I always had the urge to give in just to stop the wailing. But of course, I stood firm. Worked well. They are now responsible adults. Sometimes messy, but generally, okay.

    ReplyDelete
  32. There is power int he words we use with our kids. Always keep it positive

    ReplyDelete
  33. Parenting is so hard, and I think any time we can parent our kiddos in a positive way it is a great thing.

    ReplyDelete
  34. I do have a way to address issues of misbehaving. After every thing calms down, I talk to my child and do the sandwich approach which is first, praise and acknowledge good behavior. Second, identify the bad behavior; and third, offer ways to avoid it next time, and do a follow through after a week.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Being solution oriented when it comes to disciplining children is very important. You have to flexible at approaching the behavior in a variety of ways.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I love these tips. My son is turning into a handful and I need to remember some of these things.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I really loved this I don't have children yet but I would love to encourage this positive discipline. I feel it would be easy for me to follow these because I am very patient and I always communicate in a passive manner I don't scream or have a loud mouth ever lol...

    ReplyDelete

[name=AnnMarie John] [img=https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X9gUeVik-ZY/WJjwNTOobII/AAAAAAABTJ4/qEhU0n62_AIo-j6-6LA2OFOr44lKCHASwCLcB/s100/AnnMarie%2BJohn%2BHeadshot.JPG] [description=AnnMarie John is a lifestyle blogger, mom of 4, retired army veteran and a huge Disney lover. Formerly from the beautiful island of St. Vincent and the Grenadines in the Caribbean and now living in colorful Colorado, she loves sharing her opinions on everything, crafting and food.] (facebook=http://www.facebook.com/theannmariejohn) (instagram=http://www.instagram.com/theannmariejohn) (twitter=http://www.twitter.com/theannmariejohn) (pinterest=http://www.pinterest.com/theannmariejohn) (email=mailto:annmarie@annmariejohn.com)

Follow @TheAnnMarieJohn