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3 Things Every Couple Must Discuss Before Marriage


Too many people jump right into marriage because they are high on love and that euphoric feeling that comes with falling in love. What few realize is that the euphoric feeling wears off and time will soon become mundane. Life will become very routine driven and the demands placed upon you as the marriage grows will too grow. If you really want to ensure that your marriage will be everlasting, then read on to learn the 5 things every couple must discuss before marriage.


Money and Careers
Probably one of the most important discussions to have with your future spouse is the one that involves money and careers. Let’s say you plan to have children or plan to reach certain career goals, it’s important to discuss both of your dreams, desires and beliefs in how money and careers are handled within a marriage. If your partner is someone who firmly believes the wife stays home with the kids, cooks and cleans but you are the sort of woman who wants to pursue a career outside of the home; well then this is something that needs to be addressed before your wedding vows solidify you as a couple.

Religion, Values and Morals
While most would hope that the discussion of your religious beliefs, values and morals have been discussed prior to you even accepting an engagement, there are people who literally fly into marriage at a drive thru chapel in Las Vegas before even thinking about the long term. If you are someone who places importance upon knowing that you both are aligned morally prior to marriage, then it’s important to discuss these topics. While you both can certainly create a long lasting marriage with different beliefs, if you are on one spectrum and your spouse is on the opposite end; well then maybe marriage isn’t something in the cards for you two. Be certain that you both have a common ground when it comes to religious belief, morals and values in life.


How the Household will Work
We get it, all of these discussions will seem to take a bit away from the romantic side of getting married, but rest assured you will find everlasting love in your marriage if you discuss each of these topics beforehand. Learning how each of you wishes to have the household work is important when it comes to marriage. After you marry your spouse, the two of you are united as one. Discuss your beliefs in how discipline with future kids, having pets and how clean the home must be beforehand to ensure you both can meet the needs of the other in how the household will work.

Remember Marriage Takes Work
Regardless of whether or not you both are on the same page with each of these topics, marriage will take a lot of work. Human being beings are individuals with their own beliefs, their own emotions and desires. Your marriage will have a lot of bumps along the path of growing together, it’s completely natural. Placing a high importance value on the 3 things to discuss before marriage listed above will assist in ensuring your marriage has a shot to last long term.


Let's discuss: What else can you think of to discuss before marriage? 

Annmarie John
70 Comments
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70 comments:

  1. It is surprising how often we get married without knowing some very fundamental things about our partner. These questions are must asks for sure!

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    1. Oh I've heard of people marrying after meeting for a few weeks., I'm shocked that they do that but to each their own.

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  2. It's all about getting to know the person before you agree to spend the rest of your life with he/she, right :-P Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Well that's true but it takes a long time to get to know a person. I've been married for 11 years and I have to say that I still don't think I know my husband, he sure doesn't know me.

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  3. This is great! My husband is a pastor and we always have premarital counseling before a couple is married. They are required to fill out an extensive questionnaire that covers these topics and more. I've found through the years that most couples are so wrapped up in the actual wedding ceremony, they forget to plan for the marriage.

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    1. That's a great thing that your husband does, I wish more married couples would do that, and you're absolutely right about your insight.

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  4. It's really important to settle the important issues like money, career and value sets. This would really help you deal with potential issues earlier.

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    1. That is true. It's why some marriages don't work because their ideals are so very different.

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  5. I think another thing is family. I had issues and I know many other people who have had issues with family, as far as things like establishing boundaries or expectations. For example (in general), living near family, who you spend the holidays with, who is first to see the new baby, etc. I have seen so many relationships go through some serious hardships because of this!

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    1. I have to agree with you on this. It took me moving away from my husband's family to really see this. They lived pretty close by and was always in our business.

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  6. Before we got married we discussed all of this! If you are not on the same page on the big things then it is almost impossible to have a great marriage!

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    1. That is very true and seems like you did the right thing. Hopefully you're having a great marriage.

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  7. This is a great post. My ex and I didn't discuss any of these unfortunately. Quite possible why we're exes! Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Well you live and you learn and your next relationship will be filled with discussions.

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  8. it is important to make these things clear before marriage. In some case all these things are already solved way before marrying, if you live together first.

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    1. Sometimes they can be but at times we're still trying to impress each other or we're living with rose colored glasses.

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  9. It's true that marriage takes work. It's so important to keep the communication lines open before walking down the aisle and make sure everyone is on the same page!

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    1. It takes a lot of work and sometimes we'd much rather give up than work on it.

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  10. It's so important to discuss various issues before walking down the aisle. It's true that marriage takes work, but it's definitely worth it in the long run!

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    1. I have to agree to disagree on this. Sometimes it's worth it, at other times it's best to just cut your losses.

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  11. So true marriage does take a lot of hard work and before you know it the happyfeeling wears off. Discussing the future is definitely important!

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    1. And this is why it's best for you to discuss things before jumping into a marriage that sometimes can be a lifelong commitment for those who don't believe in divorce.

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  12. I don't remember if we ever discussed these before we got married but yes, it is a lot of work. And these topics get discussed all the time after because your perspective changes after some years have passed.

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    1. Yes things do change and sometimes so do people, but it's always best to discuss it first.

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  13. 24 years and still kicking! It all worked itself out, you just have to stay committed to working on your relationship, in the good times, and the bad. Corny, I know, but luckily my husband and I were both brought up to believe that divorce is not an option. It forces you to work through the tough times a little harder. Plus, I hate the thought of putting a child through that.

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    1. Sounds like you have the perfect recipe. I've tried myself and it can be rough, especially in the tough times and you feel like giving up and while I do believe in divorce in certain cases, if you can work through things, then try and do that first.

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  14. It really does help to take some time to discuss these things and do some planning. I think it can be kind of exciting to plan out how the household will work beforehand.

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    1. Yes it can be and if you two are on the same page then it makes things even better.

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  15. This is so true, I am not married yet but always used to think I was ready for it until my parents sat me down and realised there is much I needn't to learn and lots we need to discuss

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    1. Sounds like you have great parents. I haven't spoken to my kids about marriage yet, but I don't think that I'm the expert and they're going to need more help than I can give them since my marriage isn't perfect.

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  16. Great tips, these are things my husband and I definitely didn't discuss but I'd love him if he was a floor salesman or a janitor. Lol We both believe in God and Jesus Christ but we never discussed how much religion would play a part in our house hold. It wasn't until an awful time in our life we realized how religious we both were! There are a lot of things that will change over the years and what's most important is that you're willing to go through those changes together.

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    1. That's awesome Megan. Sounds like you've met the perfect person for you. You're right about going through the changes together, because things do change but as long as your committed to each other, then you'll be ok.

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  17. IT is so very hard to be in a marriage with someone who doesn't align with your way of thinking. It makes the house always feel at odds.

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    1. Yes it can be. I speak from experience. My husband and I don't think alike and we can butt heads a lot when that happens.

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  18. What an important list of three things every couple should discuss before marriage. I love the idea of adding a fourth item of remembering that a marriage not only takes work but also the willingness to realize neither is perfect and to love them for who they are 100%.

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    1. That is one way to look at it and if we realize that no one is perfect, it makes it easier to forgive as well.

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  19. These are some pretty serious topics that you definitely want to make sure are thoroughly discussed. I am no where near ready for these serious decisions.

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    1. When you're ready I hope you'll remember the questions that you need to ask.

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  20. It sure does take work, a lot of it! Marriage has been very little of what I expected but I am so blessed to have my relationship.

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    1. And I'm happy to hear that you're taking it one day at a time. I'm sure your husband appreciates you.

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  21. Perfectly written! Sometimes, you don't have to discuss these things since you can feel your values are similar or the same as your other half :)

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    1. And sometimes you can't feel that at all so it's always best to discuss it. Don't ever assume that the other person thinks the same way you do.

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  22. These are all very important tips, personally I think these should been realised during the relationship after the years of spending time together!

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    1. You'll be surprised at what people can hide during a relationship and you just don't see it coming.

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  23. These are great things couples should discuss before marriage. It is so important for any couple to communicate their morals, values, etc. with each other before they decide to marry. Thanks for sharing the tips.

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    1. You're very welcome Rebecca and I agree with you 100%

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  24. These are definitely important things that couples should discuss. My husband and I were together for 4 years before we got engaged and then spent 3 years engaged until we graduated college. It took time and effort for us to work through a lot of these topics especially since we come from two different countries and cultures are slightly different.

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    1. You got through it and that's great! You surely spent some time together getting to know each other and that's what matters.

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  25. You're totally right about your choice, especially morals and values: these are essential if you want to have a relationship based on trust. Career and money are important, but to be worked out and on,unless obsessive.

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    1. Trust is very important in a relationship. You don't want to be with someone you don't trust.

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  26. These are spot on. Marriage is definitely not just about being together or about love, it's a lot more than that and it yes it does take a lot of work. And also, just because you need to talk about these things doesn't mean that you doubt each other, it's just that everything needs to be clear and settled because you'll encounter a lot of challenges as you count the years together.

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    1. It does take a lot of work and it really isn't all about love although love is important. There is so much more than that and what we sometimes think is love can be something else.

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  27. I feel there is no rush for marriage and it's quite good that a lot of couples tend to test living together nowadays which is probably the best marriage tester. You get to learn a lot of these tips through living together!

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    1. That is true but some people would much prefer to just live with their husband instead of a boyfriend. I lived with my husband before we got married and I sometimes regret getting married, and I'm being honest here. :)

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  28. I absolutely love this! I wish more and more couples would talk about these important essentials before committing to marriage. These are definitely topics to be talked about

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    1. Yes it is and you should certainly talk to your significant other before getting married.

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  29. Great post. These topics definitely should be discussed beforehand.

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    1. Thank you and thanks for stopping by with your input.

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  30. Great questions, none of which I asked before I got into a serious relationship. Luckily they naturally flushed out and we were in agreement.

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    1. That is great, not everyone is quite as fortunate like you were.

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  31. I think these are all important, and it's funny that we just jumped in here without doing any of them. And it's become surprising and disorienting to have to do it now. It's still working, though, so there's that!

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    1. And some couples are just naturally in-synced with each other like you and Cassidy are.

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  32. It's really important to settle the important issues like money, career and value sets..... Its good to be on the same page!:)

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    1. It is good to be on the same page, not every couple are and most of them who aren't usually end up in divorce court.

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  33. We had pre martial counseling beforehand but we didn't really dive deep into these topics. Kids was important but we should have talked MORE about budgeting and finances!

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    1. Well it's never too late to begin those talks if you're already married.

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  34. These are very good things to keep in mind. I am not married or anywhere close to that step yet but I do think that money is a very sensitive issue that has to be discussed before marriage. I think that the modern family doesn't put all their money together in a pot anymore as both of the parts are financially independent, thing that didn't use to happen in the past. And that makes things a bit harder.

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    1. I personally wouldn't put my money with my husband and he won't with me. I like having my own and being independent. It just works out better this way for both of us.

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  35. These are good tips and Very helpful. We have been married for 20 years and this information is very beneficial for those considering getting married

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    1. And I hope I was able to help those who are thinking about getting married but have no idea where they want to start with the questions.

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[name=AnnMarie John] [img=https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X9gUeVik-ZY/WJjwNTOobII/AAAAAAABTJ4/qEhU0n62_AIo-j6-6LA2OFOr44lKCHASwCLcB/s100/AnnMarie%2BJohn%2BHeadshot.JPG] [description=AnnMarie John is a lifestyle blogger, mom of 4, retired army veteran and a huge Disney lover. Formerly from the beautiful island of St. Vincent and the Grenadines in the Caribbean and now living in colorful Colorado, she loves sharing her opinions on everything, crafting and food.] (facebook=http://www.facebook.com/theannmariejohn) (instagram=http://www.instagram.com/theannmariejohn) (twitter=http://www.twitter.com/theannmariejohn) (pinterest=http://www.pinterest.com/theannmariejohn) (email=mailto:annmarie@annmariejohn.com)

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