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How to Improve your Listening Skills


Listening is the term used to accurately hear what someone is saying and be able to interpret their words properly. In order to fully communicate with another person you must have excellent listening skills or else you end up being someone who simply is unable to communicate fully. While many feel they listen perfectly fine, there actually are some ways we all struggle with fully listening to someone during a conversation and today we will share some ways you can improve your listening skills so that you become a more effective listener.


Get Relaxed
The first step to truly listen to another person is to get into a relaxed state of mind. Take some deep breaths and prepare to fully open your ears and your mind to what this person is saying to you.

Do Not Speak
When the other person is talking to you it is important to not speak at all, you must learn to remain quiet while they finish what they have to say. Speaking is considered interrupting and is certainly not practicing good listening skills.

Control Body Language
A good listener will not eye roll, start fidgeting or making various body movements as a direct result of what the person is saying. You must control all body language that will deter the person from finishing the conversation with you.

Have Empathy
The key to being a good listener is to learn to get in touch with empathy. You may not fully understand why this person is upset or talking about the subject in such a manner, all you have to do is learn to have empathy for how they feel regarding this discussion.


Practice Patience
Some people will take long pauses in between sentences; do not be rushed to speak at each pause. Learn to practice a deeper level of patience to fully master your listening skills. Learn when a pause is the end of the discussion or just the person thinking how to say something.

Avoid Judgement
Refrain from all judgement when conversing with someone, if you are truly listening to this person then your thoughts should be on a polite, empathetic, productive response as opposed to judgment.

Make Eye Contact
This is something that has to have a good balance, you won’t want to stare down the person and make them feel incredibly uncomfortable. You should remain in eye contact with them periodically throughout the listening process; this shows them you are listening.

Make Mental Notes
As a means to ensure you are not interrupting the person in mid conversation, learn to make mental notes about your responses. Think thoughts inside of your mind as opposed to immediately engaging your thoughts while the person is still talking.


Do Not Daze Out
We all have some words or thoughts that simply make us doze off and we miss part of what the person is saying to us. Be aware of your thoughts and make sure you are not dozing off and missing a portion of the conversation.

Be Kind in Your Reply
When the person is done speaking to you, be kind in your reply. Get in touch with your inner empathy and learn to speak in a level tone. Good listening skills are combined with good response skills, be sure to use all of these tips as a means to have better listening skills.

Let's discuss: What do you think need improving when it comes to listening? 
Annmarie John
39 Comments
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39 comments:

  1. Honestly great advice and not going to lie that there are times when I am totally so busy that I am not listening 100%. But still appreciate the tips and reminder to do so here today. Thanks :)

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    1. Oh I think that is most of us, we're not perfect.

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  2. I am a type A personality, which means I love to talk alot! But I can definitely use a little help in the listening department. I think these are great tips that will really help me.

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    1. I'm very much the opposite. I'd much rather listen than talk.

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  3. I actually studied this in Psychology and people don't listen sometimes because they're waiting for their chance to speak. It's weird!
    I'll have to send you the picture of the poster Scarlet has in her classroom about listening with your whole body. It's so cool.

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    1. I would love to see that. I can't imagine listening with your whole body, that's something I'm going to have to work on.

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  4. This is such great advice. I'm a bit of an introvert, so I can make a pretty good listener being quiet and taking in situations. I definitely need to work on making eye contact, that can seem so intimidating at times while listening. I think our busy schedules can sometimes get in the way of really listening to what someone is saying. It's worth taking the time to slow down, stop, and really listen to someone. That connection is definitely worth the extra effort :)

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    1. That's what I am. I much prefer to sit back and listen and watch than jump into things, and I have to agree with you on us being so busy that it's rush-rush-rush, that we don't really spend the time listening as we should.

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  5. I have a hard time with the "do not speak" because I always want to interject, and take the conversation and show my engagement, but I just need to listen. This is a great post because nowadays I feel like everyone talks over everyone else! xx Adaleta Avdic

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    1. That is also true. I have a few friends like that, but you wonder, are they really listening, because they're always interrupting. :)

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  6. I need to share this with my Husband! Ok-not fair...I need to remind myself of some of these tips too. I always cut in before i can listen.

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    1. Oh I'm very much guilty of that and I think so are most people. Don't beat yourself up about it.

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  7. I think you're right! The key is to really slow down in order to really listen to someone else. I even find this to be true in my quiet time. We run in such a fast-paced world, it's nice to slow it down sometimes and enjoy those relationships and conversations.

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    1. Very much so, take your time and slow down, don't always be in such a hurry.

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  8. Listening and absorbing conversation is really important. One has to take in the others point of view and see how it matches or contradict yours.

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    1. If you don't listen you won't know how that works.

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  9. These are great reminders and tips! Sometimes it's so easy with all of the distractions in today's world to zone out and forget to really listen to whoever is talking to you!

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    1. That is also true. We live in such a fast paced world that life just seems to get in our way and we focus so much on ourselves.

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  10. Listening is a amazing quality. I'm blessed with a guy with listens to my rants patiently. I hope to become a better listener....

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    1. That is awesome. It's not often you find a partner who listen to you rant. :)

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  11. Very good list. We know these things but we need to read them to remind ourselves of this. For me the most important is Don't Speak. Sometimes people convert situations into something about themselves instead of the other person.

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    1. That can surely happen and I personally would prefer to have someone listen to me without interrupting because then it seems like they weren't listening to begin with.

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  12. Not speaking and listening more is definitely a great way to improve your listening skills. Most people worry more about responding than ever really listening.

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    1. Once again true! If people would take the time to listen instead of interrupting then we'd be so much better.

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  13. Some people find it hard to not speak when in a discussion. Listening is really essential because it's part of an effective communication.

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    1. And those people who find it so difficult are usually the ones who aren't really listening.

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  14. This are great tips and I do agree nowadays, people aren't good listeners. We need to be more patient and listen rather than hear.

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    1. Patience is virtue as they say you know.

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  15. Excellent tips! What's interesting is that I really struggle with auditory learning but my friends say I'm a great listener! Maybe I just feel more engaged when I'm listening to a friend instead of a lecture?

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    1. Well maybe you substituted one thing for another and that's great that you listen so effectively.

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  16. One of the things many people say about me is that I'm a great listener. I never see the point in talking over people and what they have to say. I also much prefer listening than talking. Great tips for those who don't know how to listen!

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    1. That is awesome! While I don't consider myself a "great" listener, I do take time out to listen to what others have to say while in a conversation.

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  17. OMG! I remember back in my elementary years, I always scored low in listening skills. So growing up, I really did my best to master it. I did all those things on your list. And I may have overdone it because now, all I do is listen to my friends but I feel like nobody seems to really listen to me, hence I blog, coz it's one of the major ways I can express myself. Would you have tips on how to make your friends listen to you too? ;)

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    1. Maybe I might have to write something on that, but if they all read this post, then they'll figure it out and you'll have amazing listeners as your friends. :)

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  18. these are great tips! everyone needs to have good listening skills

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    1. I agree! Thanks for stopping by with your input.

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  19. You hit the spot with your points. These are great tips of listening. What a great compilation. I have also written a great article on that, kindly check it out at www.sabtrends.com

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    1. Thank you. I'm sure that your article is also great, I'll have to check it out one day.

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  20. Yeah, I totally agreed on patience. We need more of it especially if we are listening to our kids.

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[name=AnnMarie John] [img=https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X9gUeVik-ZY/WJjwNTOobII/AAAAAAABTJ4/qEhU0n62_AIo-j6-6LA2OFOr44lKCHASwCLcB/s100/AnnMarie%2BJohn%2BHeadshot.JPG] [description=AnnMarie John is a lifestyle blogger, mom of 4, retired army veteran and a huge Disney lover. Formerly from the beautiful island of St. Vincent and the Grenadines in the Caribbean and now living in colorful Colorado, she loves sharing her opinions on everything, crafting and food.] (facebook=http://www.facebook.com/theannmariejohn) (instagram=http://www.instagram.com/theannmariejohn) (twitter=http://www.twitter.com/theannmariejohn) (pinterest=http://www.pinterest.com/theannmariejohn) (email=mailto:annmarie@annmariejohn.com)

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