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D.E.A.R. - Preserving Your Relationship


DEAR - we've all said it at least once in our life to our significant other. “Yes Dear”, or maybe “I love you Dear!”. But have you ever stopped and really thought about the word and what it means to you in a relationship? Usually the answer will be “my partner” to most people – but there's a different way to look at it – and use it to your advantage in a relationship. Today I'm going to share with you how the simple word DEAR can help you preserve your relationship with your significant other.


People who have been married for countless years have figured out the secret, but maybe you're not that far along yet with yours. Either way – the simple technique can change how you feel and react to situations within your relationship with your partner. You see, most people live their lives and have their relationship with their partner – but tend to make the little things in life get to them. And sometimes people may end up taking things out on their partner that they don't really mean to do. This type of action can place a significant burden on your relationship and make it hard to get through.


But if you remember what the word “DEAR” really means when you look at it from a different perspective – it could actually help you save the bond between you and your loved one. When you use “DEAR” as an acronym – it can help you to keep your trying times under control and help you to focus on what's really important – the love you have for one another.

And the acronym for “DEAR” could be whatever you imagine. People come up with all kinds of sayings and abbreviate them. But by remembering this acronym, it could literally mean the difference between a long term relationship – or one that lasts just a few months. You may say the word constantly and it actually means something to you – but taking it for granted can destroy your everlasting love that you have with someone.


Here's the simple acronym for “DEAR” that will help preserve your relationship and never let your relationship be destroyed.


     “DEAR – Don't Ever Argue in Relationships”


Yep! It's simply – that easy. No matter how frustrated you may be with yourself or your partner, learning not to argue within your relationship could mean the difference between a short term and a long term relationship. Arguing with your partner causes stress, frustration, anger and resentment between both of you. Usually those feelings can never be fully expressed by you or your partner. That leads to tension within your relationship – and could ultimately lead to the break up that you may not want.


Learning to keep a level head about issues that may arise and talk about them calmly with your partner will help to strengthen your relationship – and create a bond of trust between the two of you that lays the foundation for something long term. And while that may be difficult to achieve at times – remembering that you established this relationship for a reason helps you to get by. Your partner is your “DEAR” - someone that you love and care for very much. Someone who means something to you. So treat that person with the respect and love they deserve. Arguing with them won't achieve the success that you desire in your relationship because you're focusing on the wrong things – like others do.


Instead – remember that your “DEAR” is the person who matters to you, your partner in crime, the one you chose for a reason. DEAR is the person that you are currently with and helps you get through every choice that has to be made. Learn to focus on the acronym – and mean it. It could become the one thing that saves your relationship from failing like so many do.

Annmarie John
38 Comments
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38 comments:

  1. I agree that we shouldn't "argue" in the sense that if there is any disagreement, it should be discussed in a calm way. This is something that's hard to do especially when the emotions are in the way. But if God is at the center of your relationship, it makes things better.

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    1. Oh it's most certainly hard to do. I have actually gotten into shouting matches with my husband because I can't control my temper. I'm trying to do better however.

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  2. Even though how I tried to control my temper (that was when I was younger), it's the same, and it made worse. But at present, my mind matures, amd so my attitude about arguing with my wife. I'm calmer now and willing to talk, find solutions and clear things out.

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    1. That's great! Learning how to control your temper and calmly talking things through is how it should work.

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  3. Not arguing at all in a relationship is not a practical ideal to aspire for. It may lead to bigger problems if you never talk about the small stuff that annoy you about the other person. Everything might just blow up when the limit is breached without the other one knowing he was doing something wrong.

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    1. Why isn't it practical? Why is there a need to argue instead of just calmly talking things through. However if you feel the need to argue, maybe you can take a time out for yourself and come back when you're calm.

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  4. This makes so much sense. Marriage will never be easy, it's a constant struggle to go through everything together, the good and especially the bad. And if you argue or fight that won't really help especially when you're going through something as a couple or as a family. I love the idea, it doesn't hurt to stop arguing, it's going to strengthen your bond as a couple!

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    1. Thank you Elizabeth and you're right. Arguing never solves anything, but it's difficult I guess when the other person wants to be right or have the final say. Sometimes just coming back to the topic after a while, after you've both calmed down is the way to go.

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  5. I like the part about being level headed with things. I agree that when you talk, you discuss concerns and look at things from various perspectives, including that of your partner. Arguing, in a sense wherein you are not listening, rather than conversing may not necessarily solve an issue.

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    1. Oh arguing almost always never solve anything. You're both arguing and no one is listening to the other. If you can discuss things in a calm matter it will help so much more.

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  6. dont argue but compromise. thats what i always tell my friends and relatives who just got hitched

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    1. Oh arguing never solves anything, compromising however does.

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  7. I think to continue any relationshiip you must need to have good trust,strong faith,high understanding and obviously maturity.These are the all which help you to build a strong relationship I guess.

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    1. And you are absolutely correct. If you don't have any of those things, you're more than likely not going to have a long lasting relationship.

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  8. Arguing with anyone is really stressful. However sometimes going into a debate or argument can't be helped if you want to share your perspective and defend it too. It should just be done in a calmer manner.

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    1. You're absolutely right Roch. If you're calm about it, it can be done well, but if you're both screaming at each other, you will not get anywhere.

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  9. It's true that arguments are very stressful. A better way to resolve conflicts is to sit down and talk to each other nicely. I am not sure how do you avoid an argument if it was led from a discussion because you definitely have to communicate instead of just bottling everything up just to avoid an argument. Sometimes arguments mature the both of you in your relationship. And makes one understand what the partner wants/needs as well. Of course the ideal is to be able to resolve problems by just talking nicely :)

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    1. Sometimes arguments happen, but when you're both talking over each other, no one is listening to the other or you end up resenting each other, that's where arguments become detrimental to your relationship. You should be able to "discuss" things in a rational manner.

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  10. I think it's ok to argue as long as you get a common ground you can agree with. Compromise is really important.

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    1. You surely got that right, it's really all about compromise.

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  11. That's a good one. The acronym is simple and easy-to-remember. Arguing causes a lot of problems. Worse is when you take things out on your partner. Finding common ground is important and waiting to cool down before any discussion is also something worth doing in any relationship.

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    1. Most certainly. Nothing would ever be accomplished if you're both always arguing.

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  12. Wonderful meaning of the word DEAR! I argue sometimes but as long as they are healthy and forgotten soon, I think they are ok.

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    1. There are such a thing as a healthy argument, and those are the ones I would encourage.

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  13. I personally feel arguing & fighting are 2 different things and I guess 2 people can argue and arrive at conclusions but shouldn't become a fight.

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    1. Oh they are most certainly different things and fighting is most certainly a no-no!

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  14. I think for us, a little arguing is ok, because it's better than the silent bottling that leads to nothing good. So arguing is preferable to that! And then calm talking is preferable to arguing, but not always so tangible.

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    1. Whenever I bottle up anything inside it almost always lead to resentment which then in turn leads to arguing and fighting. Calm talking is much more preferable.

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  15. I wouldn't use the word preserve as it somehow feels like having the relationship status quo while the feelings shrivel up. I prefer to say maintain and keeping it alive!

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    1. Well maintaining is also a good word to use. :)

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  16. Marriage isn't easy, arguments come and go, sometimes you just can't help it. The important thing is to communicate and resolve the problem. At the end of the day make sure you both are still each other's bestfriend.

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    1. That is very true. Arguments are almost inevitable but it's how we deal with those arguments is what matters.

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  17. Anything is possible. The comments so far said it is impossible I will never agree with that. With faith and honesty in a marriage it is very possible.

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    1. That's true Saminu, anything is possible and you have to be honest with any relationship, not just your marriage, if you aren't trust breaks down and then your relationship suffers.

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  18. I will try to keep that in mind. But sometimes constructive arguments are good for a relationship also. Must know how to patch things up after that.

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    1. Constructive arguments are definitely ok. When it isn't is when you need to start worrying.

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  19. Whoah, I didn't know that DEAR has a different meaning. But nonetheless, I certainly agree that never argue in relationship indeed.

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    1. Well you can argue but be sure not to carry that argument into the next day.

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[name=AnnMarie John] [img=https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X9gUeVik-ZY/WJjwNTOobII/AAAAAAABTJ4/qEhU0n62_AIo-j6-6LA2OFOr44lKCHASwCLcB/s100/AnnMarie%2BJohn%2BHeadshot.JPG] [description=AnnMarie John is a lifestyle blogger, mom of 4, retired army veteran and a huge Disney lover. Formerly from the beautiful island of St. Vincent and the Grenadines in the Caribbean and now living in colorful Colorado, she loves sharing her opinions on everything, crafting and food.] (facebook=http://www.facebook.com/theannmariejohn) (instagram=http://www.instagram.com/theannmariejohn) (twitter=http://www.twitter.com/theannmariejohn) (pinterest=http://www.pinterest.com/theannmariejohn) (email=mailto:annmarie@annmariejohn.com)

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