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How to Help Kids Learn Manners .. and Use Them


Regardless of how others are in society or how other families are raising their kids, it is important for you to start thinking about how you can help kids learn manners and use them on a regular basis. When you think about the good ole days when families sat down at the dinner table as a unit, discussing their days and teaching kids how to have proper dinner manners; you wonder if your kids will be able to learn manners in our current day and age. Rest assured, your kids can learn manners and you are able to teach them how to use those manners as well, so as long as you remember the first rule to this theory –  as parents you need to set the example first. Parents who are consistent using terms such as “please” and “thank you” on a regular basis, yes, even when commanding a kid to do a chore, they are setting the precedence of how important manners are in everyday life. For example, when I'm in the house and I need to get by, I would tell Madison my 4yr old, excuse me. Just recently we were at a Shopkins event at ToysRUs, and Madison decided that she wanted to help by pushing the shopping cart. In the aisle was a lady and her daughter with their own cart, and Madison as clear as day said "Excuse me", and the lady said "sure" and moved to the side. I was so proud of her using her manners that day, in public too! So how can you help your own kids learn manners and use them?


How to Help Kids Learn Manners

  • Encourage kids to say hello and goodbye when someone visits or leaves the home.
  • Remind kids to say please and then thank you as well as your welcome on a regular basis.
  • Teach kids to make thank you cards after every birthday party or holiday event.
  • Teach kids to say excuse me, especially when interrupting a conversation, or when they need to get by.
  • Teach kids not to open closed doors until they have knocked and been told to enter.
  • Encourage kids to ask their siblings to do things versus demanding they help out.
  • Remind kids to be okay with spilling something on accident, but that they need to clean it up.
  • Be a consistent example and use encouraging words to ensure your kids use manners daily.

Now that you have some tips on how to help kids learn some manners, how can parents help the kids use these manners regularly?

The best way to start getting your kids to use the manners they have learned through family and community interaction, is to continually encourage and remind them to use those skills they have been taught. Kids are creatures of habit, that’s simply how they are wired no matter the age, as you work to continuously remind kids how to use their manners they are learning to make this a repetitive action and eventually will require no reminders. Most parents want their kids to be on their best behavior when going out to visit friends or eat dinner at a restaurant, when you start to work towards teaching these manners to your kids at home, those traits will expand beyond the home into their everyday way of life naturally.

Let's discuss: How do you teach your own kids about manners? 

Annmarie John
40 Comments
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40 comments:

  1. Oh yes, this is so important. My kids learned them young and better use them - or else ;)

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    1. Oh I'm definitely with you on that. If my kids don't use their manners then they know that their lives are going to be miserable with me.

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  2. We have family dinners every single night. At the table. All together. It isn't easy, but it was a priority of mine long before I had children.

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    1. We used to but now with all of us having different schedules it can be tough, but we do it on the weekends.

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  3. THANK YOU! It is the most important way a child learns, by modeling what they see in their parents. As a former elementary principal, I am so grateful!

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    1. They really do learn and model what they see, so when I see a kid with no manners, usually their parents don't practice it.

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  4. I think being a consistent example is probably the most important one - and not just for manners! How can we expect our kids to act a certain way if we are not acting that way?

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    1. Exactly. Consistency and modeling is key.

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  5. We definitely try to lead by example. Kids will mimic how we act how we do!

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    1. That is very true, we should lead by example.

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  6. First off, I love her dress! She looks so cute! I think there are many keys to teaching kids manners, and above all, being that example is key.

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    1. Thank you Mary and if we don't have any manners or don't use them, how can we expect our kids to do so?

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  7. Growing up in Ireland, manners were so important. Almost as important as going to mass and if you forgot either one, you were going to burn in the fiery pits of Hell. I like your ideas better.

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    1. Wow, I've never heard it that way before but I'm pretty sure hearing that you were going to burn in hell worked. :)

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  8. Having good manners has always been of utmost importance in our home. My husband and I agreed before we even had kids that they must be well behaved and have good manners. I think we are doing a good job because we always get compliments about how polite our boys are from people outside the house.

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    1. That is awesome Maria, and your son was very well behaved when I met him so you guys did a splendid job.

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  9. While I can't say that I was really big on teaching my daughter manners, I did feel it was important. She sort of naturally caught on to using manners on her own, thankfully.

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    1. Well I'm assuming that you also used them, that's truly one of the ways that kids learn.

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  10. It's such an important skill for our kids to have. Seems these days most parents completely skip over teaching their children any type of manners. It was extremely important to me to teach all of my kids to use manners. My boys understand about words they say as well as their actions, like opening and holding doors for others. Role playing is a great way to teach our kids.

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    1. It does seems that way. I have met quite a few kids who seems to not know how to say the words, please, thank you, or excuse me at all.

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  11. These are such great tips. Kids often know their manners, but it is a lot harder to get your kids to use them.

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    1. That's why you need to be consistent and encourage them to use them at every opportunity.

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  12. Yes ! It is a massive bug bear of mine when someone does not have good manners. I guess people don't feel the need to be as polite anymore which saddens me!

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    1. That's such a shame and I agree, I hate it when someone doesn't use it or acts like they don't have any.

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  13. I think manners and kindness are far more important than pretty much anything for me for my kids.. except happiness. And it all spreads together. I try to set a good example and have them see it. My mom is super friendly with good manners and I picked it up from watching her when I was a kid. It's contagious!

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    1. And that's why you're such a great mom. Having your kids mimic you is a great way for them to learn.

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  14. This is wonderful. Kindness and manners go a long way! I remember growing up other people would always compliment my parents because my brother and I were always so well-behaved. I know it meant a lot to my mom!

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    1. It sure did I'm pretty sure. I make sure that my kids use theirs all the time, no matter how young or old they are.

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  15. I think it's a mix between consistent practice and demonstrated behavior. I know as a mommy I don't always exhibit good manners, but the truth is my little people are watching and that's important.

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    1. Yes they sure are watching you and you want them to exhibit good manners because you have them.

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  16. If I could forward this to every parent ever I would. It seems simple manners are lacking more and more in children (and some adults!). A simple please, and thank you goes a long way!

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    1. It really does Di. I have met a lot of rude people and their kids and I know that it's what they see, so they mimic it.

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  17. I agree that it's important to teach children manners. It will take them a long way in life! The best way is to lead by example.

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    1. Leading by example is a great way to teach them but you also have to know them. :)

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  18. Manners are so important to learn early so that children grow into respectful adults. Good habits are hard to break!

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    1. Yes they really are hard to break and and so are bad ones, so teach the good early.

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  19. Kid's totally learn from us. I have a couple bad habits that my son has picked up (biting nails, but he has now stopped). So manners are another thing that is very important to model for children. Thanks for the reminder, we are always being watched. Kids are like Big Brother. ;)

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    1. We surely are being watched and since we're their role models and they want to be like us, let's do the best we can so they can be the best they can be.

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  20. Absolutely wonderful little informational guide! My mom would always remind me about my manners, and placed me in ballet when I was little to further my "education in poise" :)

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    1. Sounds like you had a rather strict mom. I wouldn't enroll my daughter in ballet for that reason, but I'd enroll her if she wanted to just for fun.

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[name=AnnMarie John] [img=https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X9gUeVik-ZY/WJjwNTOobII/AAAAAAABTJ4/qEhU0n62_AIo-j6-6LA2OFOr44lKCHASwCLcB/s100/AnnMarie%2BJohn%2BHeadshot.JPG] [description=AnnMarie John is a lifestyle blogger, mom of 4, retired army veteran and a huge Disney lover. Formerly from the beautiful island of St. Vincent and the Grenadines in the Caribbean and now living in colorful Colorado, she loves sharing her opinions on everything, crafting and food.] (facebook=http://www.facebook.com/theannmariejohn) (instagram=http://www.instagram.com/theannmariejohn) (twitter=http://www.twitter.com/theannmariejohn) (pinterest=http://www.pinterest.com/theannmariejohn) (email=mailto:annmarie@annmariejohn.com)

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