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Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids



We all know that words have power. We can probably all remember something that was said when you were young that hurt you or caused you pain.  But sometimes, as parents we get overtired, stressed at work, worried about finances or experience an emotional event that pushes us to the limit. Before we even realize what we’ve done, we’ve said something that we regret. Before we ever get to that breaking point, we need to establish some guardrails that we determine to not cross. There are some things we shouldn’t say to our kids under any circumstances.


You Were an Accident

We have probably all seen the illustration of the toothpaste that gets squeezed out of the toothpaste tube. Once it's out, it's impossible to put the toothpaste back. Whether you planned the birth of your children and everything happened according to your plan, kids should never have to grow up thinking that their birth was not a welcome event. Sure, there are some situations where a new addition to the family is not something that was scheduled or planned, but no child is an accident.

I Wish You Were Like Your Brother/Sister

If you have more than one child, you have seen that each child is unique. Even though children are growing up in the same house with the same parents, their personalities, strengths and talents will be unique. One of the worst things that kids can feel is that they are not as good as their siblings. Celebrate their uniqueness!  Don't compare the children or make them feel inferior just because they have different strengths and abilities.

I Can’t Wait Till You Grow Up

Childhood is such a short time. Though parents will always be important, needed and valued, there are only a few short years where children are dependent and completely impressionable. Cherish the days when the children are young because they will be grown before you turn around. Children need to feel safe and valued by their parents. They shouldn't feel like they are a burden to their caregivers.

Having the honor of raising children is something special. Let's not ruin our time with our kids by saying things we will regret.



Annmarie John
41 Comments
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41 comments:

  1. Comparing one child to another is a good way to create resentment. I can't imagine ever telling a person they were a mistake...who says that?

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    1. Heather you'll be amazed at the things that come out of people's mouth when they're very upset but yes that is something you should never say to your child.

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  2. This is a great reminder. Kids are a blessing and they should be reminded of that. They grow up way too fast.

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    1. They sure do grow up way too fast. I still can't believe that my youngest is going to be 4.

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  3. These are good ones! I'm glad I never heard my parents say any of them to me!

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    1. My parents have never said them to me either but there were times I did feel like I was being compared to my brothers.

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  4. Thank you for sharing these! These are so obvious, and yet, we as parents are still guilty of doing them on occasion. Except for the accident thing.

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    1. Oh yes we are. I'll be the first to say that I've compared my kids before and I realize how hurtful it can be.

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  5. Don't I know how fast kids grow up. I have a Daughter who is 42 and it just seems like yesterday that she was a baby.

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    1. Terry I still can't believe Madison is going to be 4. Seems like just yesterday she couldn't walk or talk.

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  6. Words can definitely hurt more than people think. It's important to build your children up.

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    1. They say sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt me. Whoever made that up didn't know what he was talking about.

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  7. "I Can’t Wait Till You Grow Up " I think that would have to be one of the most hurtful things to say. I ask my kiddos to not grow up so fast because I want them to be near me. :)

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    1. I'm sure there are more hurtful things than that. I couldn't wait to grow up, boy if only I knew then what I know now.

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  8. I have never told my daughter she was an "accident" but she does know the pregnancy was unplanned. I don't think that's ever made her feel any less loved. I agree, you should never compare siblings! That only causes resentment towards them and you!

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    1. My youngest was very much unplanned but I would never tell her she was an accident ever, I tell her how much we love her.

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  9. I agree with you completely. Children are not supposed to be told these things. It may seem to us that they are not affected, but they are and these words will stick to their minds until adulthood.

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    1. Oh it does stick with them. I still remember things I was told when I was younger that I wish I could forget.

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  10. My mom never said any of these things, but she did say things that stuck. Good and bad. Words do carry a lot of power. And while none of us can ever be perfect, it is important to remember that the way we make our children feel with our words, they will remember when they're older, even if what we actually said becomes long forgotten. Good reminder. :)

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    1. Yes Rosey, your mom was just like mine. While she never said any of the above, she did say some things that I will never forget. We need to watch what we say.

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  11. I heard of parents saying these things and my heart just break for their kids. I hope parents read this.

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    1. It not only breaks your hearts but their kids hearts as well. I wish more parents would think before they spoke.

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  12. I completely agree. One of my kids, my 3rd was a big surprise. Once my oldest son got angry at her and told her she was a mistake, an accident. Oh boy did he get in trouble. No kid should be told any of this! - Jeanine

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    1. I agree, no child should ever be told any of these things and a few more that didn't make the list.

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  13. The words we say to children are so important. Better they be positive and encouraging.

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    1. That is true. Better be positive than negative.

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  14. I would never want my kids to feel like they were an accident. I have heard people talk about a unexpected pregnancy as a mistake in front of their kids before and i always feel bad for the child. It is important to never compare your children to each other.

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    1. I think as parents we silently compare but to say it out loud is a big no-no.

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  15. Comparing a child with his siblings is a no-no. This is a great resource for parents.

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    1. Thank you and I truly agree. No one should be compared EVER.

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  16. I think comparing one with the other kid is the worst thing for a parent to do, as it could have a serious impact in their life. And I agree, Childhood flies in no time & we must be able to appreciate it.

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    1. I have to say that even though it's on my list, I have been guilty of comparing and it should NEVER be done. I want my kids to enjoy their childhood .

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  17. My mother used to compare me to my older sister and made me feel like she was better than I was. While it didn't make me resent her, it however did make me want to prove her wrong. I promised myself that I'd never ever compare my kids.

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    1. I can see how it can make you competitive. While mine never said it out loud, I always felt that she compared me to my older brothers but it didn't rise any resentment in me either.

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  18. Oh my goodness - yes! I was an accident and told I was so - but my mom said I was the best thing that could have happened to her but it still was uncomfortable and I often wondered if my mom would have pursued her dreams of being a nurse if it weren't for me.

    Thanks for sharing.
    xoxo

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    1. Awww Jennifer I know it must have hurt when you first heard it but I'm sure she didn't mean that you were unwanted since she said you were the best thing that happened to her, but oh how I wish she had said that instead. I hope you're having an amazing Monday.

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  19. Ugh, I can't imagine. Although I'm sure I've said things I didn't mean and shouldn't have said. Like I once told Scarlet I was excited she was going to school.. after a full hour of her whining at me one morning. Oops! Never again.

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    1. Oh I've totally said things that I've regretted later. I've also told Madison, "I can't wait for you to go to school tomorrow" when she was whining as well and being a pain, but when she's in school I so miss her. I kept her out this year to spend some quality time with her but she's already driving me nuts. :)

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  20. OK so who seriously says these things to kids? I know that when I get upset I can say some really mean things but to say you were a mistake is just horrible. I'm bad but not that bad. They say sticks and stones may break my bones but words may never hurt me, but that is such a lie. Words do hurt.

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    1. You'd be surprised at some of the things that parents have said to their kids. Things such as "You'd never be anything in life". I remember hearing one of my friends mom arguing with her one day and that was something she told her. In my mind all I could think was "WOW". She laughed it off but I'm sure it hurt.

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  21. how can you even about saying these things to your kids, also there are some thing men should never say to a woman, if you wonder what they are read my post https://kovla.com/blog/know-what-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-russian-woman/ about them!

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[name=AnnMarie John] [img=https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X9gUeVik-ZY/WJjwNTOobII/AAAAAAABTJ4/qEhU0n62_AIo-j6-6LA2OFOr44lKCHASwCLcB/s100/AnnMarie%2BJohn%2BHeadshot.JPG] [description=AnnMarie John is a lifestyle blogger, mom of 4, retired army veteran and a huge Disney lover. Formerly from the beautiful island of St. Vincent and the Grenadines in the Caribbean and now living in colorful Colorado, she loves sharing her opinions on everything, crafting and food.] (facebook=http://www.facebook.com/theannmariejohn) (instagram=http://www.instagram.com/theannmariejohn) (twitter=http://www.twitter.com/theannmariejohn) (pinterest=http://www.pinterest.com/theannmariejohn) (email=mailto:annmarie@annmariejohn.com)

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